


It's a drag

by allofthefandoms



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Clint is a make-up artist, Crack, Crossdressing, Gen, Tony is Natasha's lesbian date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-06
Updated: 2012-07-06
Packaged: 2017-11-09 06:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofthefandoms/pseuds/allofthefandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course Tony would have to be Natasha's lesbian date for a mission.  Of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a drag

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a fill over at the Avengers Kink thread on LJ and I just couldn't help myself. Comeplete and utter crack.
> 
> Prompt: So the prompt would basically be anything about Jeremy or Clint being or having been a make up artist.

"I do not want to shave off my beard, Natasha," Tony said, crossing his arms over his arc reactor with a huff. Natasha slammed the electric razor down, letting out a puff of air.

" We have to infiltrate this organization and you are the only one who will pass as my girlfriend. Thor is too...different,and the others just don't have the right bodies or faces. Steve has such a baby face, but you'll never hide that body. Shame..." She cast an appreciative eye over Steve's body. "We know who to call if we need a male stripper, though." Tony snorted as Steve blushed cherry red. Shaking his head, Steve met Tony's eyes.

"Please Tony. The team needs you to do this. You're the only one who can." Tony snatched the razor out of Natasha's hands, taking the buzzing blade to his chin. When his face was baby smooth, Natasha patted aftershave onto the slightly red skin before turning to the door.

"Barton, we're ready for you."

"What on earth do we need Barton for?" Tony grumped. "We need a make-up artist, not a sniper." Natasha just laughed.

"He's just the man we need." 

"Finally got rid of that beard, huh?" Clint said with a grin as he plopped what looked like a oversized toolbox on the table. "We'll have to start with padding if we're going to make him pass. Tasha, what sort of look are we going for? We going to play up the fact that he's actually a dude, or are we going for more of a vampy look?"

"Remember," Natasha said with a feral grin. "He's going in with me. You know my type."

"Alright then," Clint said, going to the wardrobe. "Ass and tits it is then. On your feet, Stark." Tony froze, halfway out of his seat.

"Hold on. Padding?"

"The ass is fine, but those hips..." Clint shuddered. "You have man hips, Stark, and if we are going to make you pass as Tasha's lesbian date, that is going to have to change. You should fit into this." Clint tossed him what looked to be some sort of padded spandex girdle. Tony pulled it on slowly, frowning as he looked at the final results.

"This will really make me look like a woman?" he said skeptically. Clint said nothing, and just threw a padded bra at him. Once his undergarments were on, Tony did a slow circle.

"Really? I still look like a man. Well, scratch that. I look like a man in drag." 

"I'm not done yet," Clint replied. "I still have to get you in your clothes, and do your hair and make up."

"Wait, wait. Hair and make-up?"

"You said it yourself Tony. Right now, you still look like a man in drag. Here, put this on. I thought you'd appreciate the color." The dress was strapless and deep red. Tony did like it, and it fit like a glove. If he ignored his face and unshaved legs, he could almost convince himself this would work.

"You have the waxing kit ready?" Clint asked Natasha, who nodded, a wicked smile on her face.

"This is going to hurt." 

It did hurt. A lot. Tony didn't yelp. Not once. Men don't do that. But Natasha was rubbing cool cream against his sore legs, and Tony began to relax. By then, Steve had left Tony to his own embarrassment, and it was only the three of them. Clint was busy pulling things out of the box, most of which Tony had never seen. He did recognize some of the basic make-up things like foundation, lipstick and eye shadow, but there were pencils in every shade of the rainbow, creams, lotions, perfumes and odd looking caps and wigs.

“Alright, hair first. Tony, blonde or brunette?”

“Can I have a curly wig?” Tony said, picking up a wig that had a cut he totally though would be cute on Pepper. Clint nodded, and tilted Tony's head down so he could slip a wig cap over his short hair. Once the wig was on, the illusion was almost complete. Clint tested a few different shades of foundation on the inside of Tony's wrist before picking one and applying it to his face and neck with a soft pad. Clint was cute when he worked like this, Tony decided. He stuck his tongue just out of the corner of his mouth, and his face was far more animated then it ever was when they were working.

“Tasha, can you do his nails? We have the gold fake ones, right?” Natasha smiled and took Tony's right hand and began to do her own work. They settled into a steady quiet rhythm, the two of them softly asking him to tilt his head, move his hand or pucker his lips. When the two of them stepped away, Tony couldn't believe what looked back at him out of the mirror.

The woman, Toni, was a tall bouncy blonde, well endowed both in front and back. The deep red dress set her skin off warmly, and the make-up all subtle pinks and shimmering browns highlighted her strong facial features. She wasn't just beautiful; She was stunning.

“Wow.” Everything had seemed to change. Tony felt his voice soften and pick up a more feminine tone, his posture was different even the way he moved felt different somehow. Natasha had slipped on a pair of low black pumps on his feet when he hadn't been looking, and it felt like he really was transformed. Natasha, always put together, was putting the final touches on her own make-up, dressed to the nines in a gray dress Tony could have sworn she had been wearing when she had infiltrated Stark Industries that one time. But when she turned, he noticed that her hair was straight and pulled back, she had put in color contacts and walked differently. It was truly chilling to see how easily Natasha could become someone else.

Later that night, after the mission had gone off without so much as a fly out of place, Tony confessed that he had enjoyed it. Natasha gave him a slow grin.

“You should talk to Clint sometime. He does this sort of thing for fun.”


End file.
